Still alive!

life is on a roller coaster ride right now..

so many confusions..so many questions…

what to do with my life?

where am i going?

who am i?

where will i end up?

am i on the right path?

..list is endless..

lifelong friendships are on the stake..walking on a road directionless..

egos clashing..realities killing..relationships hurt..

but somewhere still there is a hope..

hope of being understood..

hope of getting my innocence back..

hope of being appreciated just the way i am..

hope of the little world of mine getting perfect.

..n i ll be called alive till this hope remains.

dont store ur anger, sorrows, failures, feelings in u..they result in only 1 thing – FRUSTRATION.

- realization

Products of Boredom..

You know you are in Dr. D Y Patil college of Architecture when…

• you have an AutoCAD class and you catch up a movie show..as electricity wont be there, n if its available, half of the pcs wont work. So go n njoy!
• you need not worry if your sheets are incomplete..just pour a glass of water on it..n blame it on the leakages in the studio.
• you are worried about fatal mistakes in ur design, you always check it urself by checking out the college building for the stuff “what not to do in design!”
• you experience a kewl way of teaching..come on, you cant find any other archi college which teaches you without profs!!! As a result, you get plenty of free time to ponder upon your design..it makes u independent of anyone…
• you can neva become fat by lack of exercise..becoz even for having eatable food, you will have to walk a mile.
• Your professor pays for your Chai in the studio.
• you find a paradise for an  animal lover..as you can always find different kinds of dogs, cows, cats, snakes around in campus.
• a reserve kind of person who doesn’t like people much realise that this is the place he was looking for as…one can see absolutely no crowd in the campus(forget the good ones)most of the time.
• When professor SMS you to attend his lecture / seminar.
• You realise that India is no more poor country as even the dog of a chairman of D Y Patil university, owns a flat! (yea u read it right, DOG!)
• people suddenly start remembering and calling you in IPL season..
• You see every problem’s solution in cello tape.
• You start stealing erasers and write your name on every stationary you own (stolen).
• Your professor and your classmates have drinks together on special occasions.
• You realise you had time of your life…which isn’t to be forgotten..

Those little things..

Life has been on a fast track..but someday, when u pause for a second, you realise that in keeping pace with life, many things are left behind in time..

some little things which held no significance earlier but later when you look back, you start missing them..

some of the little things i miss..

-         I miss searching for story books in my school library…

-         I miss my paintbrush, which is buried somewhere in a wardrobe from ages..

-         I miss Aladdin’s Genie who used to make me laugh even on worst of my days..

-         I miss my walk back home after school..

-         I miss fights with bro over a piece of cartoon sticker..

-         I miss my broken Barbie..

-         I miss sharing Tiffin in recesses..

-         I miss waiting for my turn for swing..

-         I miss mom’s hug after a bad dream..

-         I miss counting stars..

-         I miss being called ‘Reenu’.

-         I miss a friend online everyday at 9.30pm..

-         I miss planning summer holidays at native house..

-         I miss an early morning hour of cycling with my best friend..

-         I miss 9:56 Dadar local..

-         I miss the postcards by a friend from native place..

-         I miss writing in Gujarati..

-         I miss senseless giggles..

-         I miss talking without thinking..

-         I miss being innocent..

-         I miss the feeling of being free..

-         I guess I miss being a kid, I REALLY DO.

Living on..Dreaming on..

 somewhere in class 7th – a round table conference by young minds of future ( ahem, a recess time chit-  chat with gfs ) when one eager girl rose the most imp question of that time – “what are you going to be?” one  by one 5-6 girls replied as a doctor, a CA, an engineer etc etc…and then heads turned towards me expecting a  reply..i was caught dumbfounded…never gave a serious thought to it before…but i was too ashamed to say “i  don’t know” specially when all my gfs seemed so clear about their aim…so i thought for a while and a pile of  second-hand interior designing magazines(Rs. 5 each!) and newspaper cuttings of contemporary buildings(&  of course my love for stationary) flashed on my mind and i replied – “an ARCHITECT, that’s what i am going to  be.”

class 10th result day – One of the best days of my lil life so far…i scored 90% ! (!!!!hey m not bragging about it…emm OK FINE, maybe m bragging…life hardly gives some things to brag about anyways!;) ) Now technically there was a question of choosing further education stream…but as we all know in our beloved India if you score above 75%, you MUST take science stream otherwise you are considered as a certified fool and a score you have scored in SSC goes in vain. Still my dad had guts to ask me what i wanted to study…n i replied, whatever stream is necessary to get in to an Architecture college.. it was science at that time………n i became a proud student of Ruia college, science stream..

class 12th – Science wasn’t my cup of tea only because of chemistry..2 years, I had to study my worst enemy CHEMISTRY…till the date I haven’t understood why bloody idiot carbon has to make reactions with every other compound it finds…but I HAD TO study all that crap for the sake of architecture…i actually found a way out, made a survey n found out that one needed avg 60% in HSC plus entrance exam score to get into archi college…so to be on safer side, i had prepared for 65% of syllabus…and managed to score 64.89%..(people said it  was a shame for a girl who scored well in SSC…but I think I did whatever was needed for my architecture…why slog more?)

well, moving ahead…so i was all set to be an architecture student (psycho, wacko, weirdo as people call them) after scoring fairly well in entrance exam…n the roller coaster ride of a lifetime started with Dr. D Y Patil college of architecture a.k.a. DYPCA…

Life at DYPCA – amazed and astounded by the new horizons in front of me, those studios..designs..discussions..new friends..everything felt so right, so good…DYPCA became an integral part of me..From the freaking submissions to exciting tours to lifelong friendships to the joy of bunking…it gave me everything..i lived every bit of it..and not to forget, it’s the place where I found love of my life, PHOTOGRAPY..

Magical years of this little life span…surely its not been just a ride of only ups…had to face the hiccups too…but that’s worth it…no complaints…more difficult the time became, more intense friendships felt.. These years made me what I m today..

Today, at the time of farewell, when m hardly few steps away from a title “architect”, I wanna dedicate this one to the people who accompanied me in this journey..my friends…this is my journey which couldn’t have been so special without all the people around me…some made it miserable n some made it a joy ride…n of course our beloved profs…cant ignore their contribution to this…love all..

They say you CANT live your dreams…I didn’t realise all this while living it…but today when I look back to the girl in 7^th std who dreamt about herself buried in clutter of drawings and stationary along with great friends, I can see that girl in me happy and content…who lived her dreams…n she is still dreaming on…this was the preface…the journey to the architecture has just started NOW.. in the world outside the campus..

Been there, done that…time to move on to another chapters of life…this one is happily over..

p.s. 7 years after schooling, at the reunion dinner of 8 of school gfs…everyone re-introduces their selves as who has become what now…n at the end of it, a girl says pointing towards me, “she is the only one of us who became what she said…she was the only one who had a clear vision about her aim and destiny..”  !!!!!

life is weird, isn’t it?

Both the sides of a coin..

Random things about ‘ME’

black – white – gray..  ALL.

-         I am an emotional fool and don’t really mind people calling me that.

-         I cant take hypocrite people. I simply, truly, deeply HATE them.

-         I am a quite good manipulator, and I don’t misuse that.

-         I can get jealous like hell.

-         If the equation between me and a person is good, I am the sweetest person he/she knows. But if someone hurts me,

I can be the  rudest person on this planet.

-         I am lazy but when I work, I want it to be the best.

-         I face quite tough time while lying.

-         My present is the most beautiful time of my life, ALWAYS.

-         Till date, I don’t have any regrets in my life.

-         I rarely compromise.

-         I cant work on the things I don’t like. However important they maybe, I don’t care.

-         I am lucky about friends, m proud of them.

-         I love dancing.

-         Going on the places i have never been to, is a passion for me.

-         I hate to wear make-up and i cant walk on stilettos.

-         I have fetish for earrings and face wash, i just cant have enough of them.

-         I love evenings, it is the best time in a day.

-         Everything is extreme with me…friendship, care, anger, excitement, hate, love, passion, joy, sorrow, jealousy.

I dont care about its consequences, I REALLY DONT.

Diary 2003

“Sometimes people don’t understand us or underestimate our capabilities..that time without getting frustrated, you should remember that – We judge ourselves by What we can do; but world judge us by What we have done.”

Abtract ME